1) You can’t remember the last time you washed your hair. Go on, ask me. I DON’T KNOW.
2) You have to do rock paper scissors with your partner to decide who pops out to get something for dinner and who stays with the baby. You’re hoping you get to pop out.
3) What day is it? Who knows. The new knock knock joke.
4) You know how to cook while using your foot to rock a baby in a bouncer a safe distance away.
5) You’ve got 3 apps on your iPhone, all of which produce a different womb sound and you’ve had a conversation with your partner about which one you both think your womb sounds like.
6) You’re guilty of asking your partner to mind the baby while you shower or cook or pop to the loo and shouting as you leave ‘She needs a nappy change babe love youuuuu……..’. That might just be me though.
7) When your baby cries at a baby group you feel like you need to explain why. Baby didn’t sleep well last night. Baby didn’t finish her bottle before you came and she’s probably hungry. She’s teething. She’s had her injections. It’s ok! Babies cry. Chill.
8) You’ve told yourself you can’t do it a million times but every week you look back and can’t believe how old your tiny one is getting. That’s when you realise not only can you do it, you are doing it and you’re fine.
9) Changing bags are your new handbags.
10) The only pictures you have on your phone now are pictures of your baby in cute clothes, pictures of your baby and your pet, selfies of you and your baby, pictures of your baby in the bath, pictures of your baby in their pram….and you will show everyone who doesn’t ask.